IV. 1989, A Library, Japan
1
Kimiyo woke up on a couch. As she sat up, the quilt that had been draped across her chest fell to the floor. She looked around. Tall bookshelves and office desks surrounded her. A large copy machine sat in the corner of the room, with a gray display and a computer sitting next to it. The wall calendar read December 1989. A red circle marked the 25th, but as far as she could remember, that wasn't the date.
She appeared to be in the library's office.
Kirisame, the librarian, was sitting right next to her. He had his head down and appeared to be dozing. As Kimiyo was looking at his face, he noticed her and woke up.
“Hey there, Kimiyo. You awake?” Kirisame asked in a sleepy voice.
“You're the one who just woke up, Kirisame.”
“I just fell asleep. I was dreaming. I don't remember what of, though.”
“I don't remember anything, either. I feel kind of sad.” Kimiyo picked up the quilt and folded it in her lap. “By the way, why was I sleeping in a place like this?”
“You collapsed after I took the dagger out of the storeroom. You quickly got back up and took your medicine. I said you should take a rest, and you lay down on the couch. Ever since, you've been doing your Sleeping Beauty routine, and I've played the role of your protective knight. In Japanese, I'm pretty sure we call that 'nursing'.”
“You were asleep.”
“Ah. I suppose something like that might have happened.”
Kirisame said that without sounding offended, which made Kimiyo laugh. Kimiyo leaned against Kirisame. As they leaned against each other, the room suddenly grew quiet, and the two of them on that couch were the only thing left in the world.
“I might like you, Kirisame.”
“That's rather sudden. What brought this on?”
“I don't care about why. No one really understands what's important in this world, anyway. Everyone just pretends to understand. Hey, Kirisame. You agree, don't you?”
“I do.”
“Hehe. But this actually isn't sudden. I've liked you for a long time now. I was just too embarrassed to tell you before.”
“But your destined partner isn't me, but that man named Kito. You're his lover.”
“I said I don't believe in reincarnation.”
“You also said you weren't interested in love.”
“Yeah. Guess I'm a liar.”
“We should head back to the front,” Kirisame said, getting up. “I'm still putting all my work on Utamika. If I don't start picking up the slack soon, she'll end up hating me.”
“I don't care if she hates you. I don't care if the entire world winds up hating you, Kirisame. I'd still stand at your side alone until the end.” Kimiyo tugged at Kirisame's sleeve. “Don't leave me.”
“I'm not leaving you. I'm just going to the next room.”
Kirisame walked out of the office. Kimiyo absentmindedly stroked the quilt for a while, then got up and followed him. When she left the office, the front desk was right in front of her. Kirisame and Utamika were sitting next to each other. Utamika turned to Kimiyo and looked surprised. She asked if she was okay. Kimiyo replied that she was.
“What about Miki?”
“Once she saw that you seemed okay she rushed home. I thought she had a date.”
“She told me she broke up with her boyfriend the other day.”
“So she has a date with her new boyfriend.”
“Where's the dagger?”
“It's being kept strictly controlled on a shelf in the office,” Kirisame said, crossing his legs. “I don't think I'll be telling you where, exactly. Of course, I won't tell Kito, either. If neither of you know where the dagger is, you can't go killing each other with it.”
“Even if we knew, we wouldn't kill each other.”
Kimiyo shrugged her shoulders.
“I did some research on the daggers,” Utamika declared, sounding rather proud of herself. “I'm already in a library, so I figured it couldn't hurt to check... oh, where did I put that book?”
“It's on your lap.”
“Ah, yes, yes. Here.”
Utamika placed a thick tome on the desk. It was bound in red and black, and the paper had completely discolored and turned sepia. The title was written in English in a unique font that Kimiyo couldn't read. Everything inside the book was also written in English. When she turned the pages, she saw there were illustrations of knives, swords, bows, and spears spread throughout the book.
“This is a book on ancient weapons. It was written in 1923 by a man named Henry Drake.”
“Utamika, can you read English?”
“I can. My degree is in English literature. Now, on this page, there's a picture that looks just like our dagger.”
Utamika opened to a page marked with a sticky note. On the upper left corner of the page there was a square frame containing a simple, unrealistic drawing of a dagger. It did look similar to the dagger Kimiyo had seen. However, that dagger had been coated in dust, so Kimiyo couldn't be sure they were a perfect match. English text surrounded the illustration. It looked like it had been printed with a rather poor printing press.
“The dagger we saw is called a quillon type, which were worn by a relatively large number of men in the middle ages for self-defense and as accessories. See here? The guard is in the shape of a cross. That shape was popular until around 1500. After that, it was developed into a type of left-handed dagger for catching the opponent's sword.”
“So they're common.”
“Yes, but if you read further, there's a section of text about a set of cursed quillon daggers. 'Six daggers belonging to a certain private order in France. Seven stars were engraved upon the handles.' Ah, what does this word here mean... Right! 'According to legend, the daggers bear a terrible curse, and so remain under the strict control of the government.'”
“Can't have been that strict if one of them wound up here,” Kirisame said with a sneer. “It'd be more accurate to translate it as 'seven-pointed star'. A star with seven points was engraved upon each of the daggers' handles.”
“Some kind of religious symbol?”
“I don't know. In religious iconography, you often see five- and six-pointed stars, but I haven't heard much about seven-pointed stars. Well, you said that 'a certain private order' used them, so maybe it was from their coat of arms.”
“Is there anything else written about the legend?”
“I'm sorry, but there's nothing else.”
“Nothing about the Six Headless Knights or the lord's daughter?”
“Nothing.”
Kimiyo gave up and backed down.
“Then I guess it's my turn.” Kirisame pulled another book out from under the desk. “Miki found these books and brought them to me.”
“Please tell me that's not just an atlas.”
“It's just an atlas.”
It was a huge book that looked like it was more than 40 cm square. Atlases are generally rather large. On the cover was an image of the Earth as seen from space. Kirisame flipped through the pages and stopped at a certain point. It was a map of the Languedoc region in southern France, facing the Mediterranean Sea. The sea was on the right side, and “Golfe du Lion” (Gulf of Lion) was written in large letters.
“North of Perpignan and east of Carcassonne, there's a mark of the ruins of a castle. That's Lapis Lazuli Castle, which has a dark history. A detailed description of Lapis Lazuli Castle can be found in this book.” Kimiyo looked at the map. Kirisame picked up a small paperback-sized book that contrasted sharply with the atlas. “Lapis Lazuli Castle was originally built by the Toulouse family, who at the time were as powerful as the King of France. The castle changed hands several times before falling into the control of a man named Geoffroy. He got involved in heretical religions and was executed as part of the Albigensian Crusade in 1243. The giant stone cross he built and Lake Sète, at the time popularly known as Cross Spring, were both destroyed, and now only ruins remain. Look at the map. See that unnamed lake? That lake originally connected to the Mediterranean Sea and bore the shape of a cross.”
When she looked to the west of the marker of the castle ruins, Kimiyo saw a small lake. It was shaped like a distorted square.
“Where do the Headless Knights fit into all this?”
“This next book is about the occult.”
Kirisame pulled yet another book from under the desk. The cover bore an ostentatious image of a smiling devil.
“It's funny. You can find everything you need under that desk.”
“Of course. It's a fourth-dimensional desk. The legend of the Headless Knights is in this book, although it's pretty sensationalized. 'Geoffroy was a demon who summoned monsters in his tower of evil and loved to feast on human corpses!' and such. Well, at least they got his name right. He attacked his own knights and daughter as part of a religious ceremony and cut off their heads. Incidentally, the heads of the six murdered knights plus his daughter add up to seven. I don't know if that's related to the seven-pointed star or not. According to history, Geoffroy was executed as part of the Albigensian Crusade, but it seems like we don't actually know for sure.”
“What Kito said wasn't a lie...” said Kimiyo. Her expression was complicated. “But I still don't know if reincarnation is actually real.”
“By the way, there was also a bit written about the daggers. 'The cursed daggers inflict a death beyond time. Their owners are cursed to suffer misfortune and death. There exist six daggers. Their current whereabouts are unknown. If you ever encounter one, you would be wise to stay away...'. The origin of the daggers is unclear. They were originally recovered from a church in Constantinople. It's said that a certain saint forged the daggers, mixing his own blood with the metal. At the time, the church revered them as holy blades.”
“Kirisame, lend me that book.”
“Sure. There's some real funny stories in there.”
Kirisame stamped her library card. Kimiyo looked up at the clock on the wall. It was almost closing time. Utamika played Ravel's Pavane for a Dead Princess over the speakers. That was the library's closing song. She was certain there was no one else in the library, but her job responsibilities clearly said she had to play it.
“Nothing else under the desk, Kirisame?”
“Well, there is one thing...” Kirisame bent down, rummaged around under the desk, and returned holding a blue gemstone. “What do you think? It's a lapis lazuli.”
“It's beautiful.”
The stone, small enough to fit in one hand, was a deep blue, intermittently flecked with golden pyrite. It looked as though the starry night sky had been sealed in a stone.
“I'll give it to you after I've made it into a pendant.”
Kimiyo thanked him.
A little snow was falling by the window. Kimiyo followed a snowflake with her eyes.
2
The next day, the old man was in the reading room as usual. He passed Kimiyo, bowed, and left. Left in the empty room, Kimiyo began to read the book she had borrowed yesterday. Her bag got in the way on her lap, so she placed it on the table. Inside her bag was a bento box. She had woken up early and prepared it herself. Kimiyo always made herself bento boxes, and she only made them for herself. No one made them for her, and she never made them for others.
Kito showed up that day. He entered the reading room, looking difficult as usual. But when he saw Kimiyo, he breathed a sigh of relief. Kimiyo stared at the buttons on his jet black shirt. She couldn't meet his eyes.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning,” Kimiyo responded in an attempt to be polite. “I didn't know you were coming today.”
“Am I bothering you?”
“No. Though if, theoretically, you were, I wouldn't say so.”
“I see,” Kito said with a laugh. “Then I'll just keep my mouth shut for a while.”
“That would make me very happy.”
As he'd said, Kito took a chair and remained silent, but Kimiyo couldn't concentrate on her book anymore. She read it, but its contents didn't enter her head. Every time he so much as glanced at his watch, Kimiyo started. All her nerves felt on edge.
“I've been thinking about you,” Kimiyo began. “Even if you are my lover, or a reincarnation, or whatever, what exactly is it you want from me now? Why do you keep approaching me?”
“I'm looking for an end.” Kito ran his fingertips across his forehead. “My end. In other words, I want to go out as myself and not be reborn again. And I hope we can avoid our painful fate of killing each other.”
“You've been through a lot since you started reincarnating, haven't you?”
“So have you.”
“I don't remember any of that. I can't be hurt by what I don't remember.”
“Maybe it's good that you don't remember.”
“There's someone I like.”
Kito was silent.
“To be honest, I'm not sure if I like him like him, but he's someone I want to watch over me. It's not like I'm rushing and forcing myself to fall for anyone just because I'm dying. And this isn't an excuse to get away from you. I haven't sorted out all of my feelings yet, but I can tell you this much. When I die, the one I want by my side is Kirisame. Not you.”
Kito stared at the floor with downcast eyelids, as though he were enduring a great sorrow. At his feet lay his dark shadow. The shadow was twisted into an awkward shape by the fluorescent lights of the reading room.
“I was prepared for this,” Kito muttered in a quiet voice. “I'm still carrying too much of my past. It's as you've said this whole time. You're Kimiyo, nobody else. I don't have a place here anymore, do I?”
“Don't look so sad,” Kimiyo said, feeling suddenly guilty. “What happened in 1971? That's the year my previous life died, isn't it? I lost all my memories of that. If what you're saying is true.”
“We tried to close the seven-pointed star. We tried to close off the cycle of reincarnation using the seven-pointed star engraved on the dagger. But you died in the process. No, you didn't die. I killed you. That night, you were lying in a large parking lot on campus. You were in the center of a large seven-pointed star, drawn in lime. It was a starless night. We had drawn the seven-pointed star ourselves. We were planning to sleep in the center of the star until morning. It was a ritual to end our reincarnations. For us, it was a faint hope that we could finally end our curse. We just wanted to carry out a simple ritual. But when I woke up next morning, you were dead. There was a dagger in your chest. It must have been me.”
“Where did the dagger come from? You didn't bring it with you, did you?”
“We entered the star with nothing on us but our clothes. Of course, that includes the dagger. Once we entered the seven-pointed star, we never left it. If we'd tried to leave the star, we definitely would have left footprints in the lime, but there weren't any. The star needed to cover a large area. That's why we chose the parking lot. Of course, there was nothing around. But... there was a dagger in your chest.”
“What are you saying? It's not like the dagger fell from the sky. I was stabbed by a dagger that didn't exist.”
“I'll say it as many times as it takes. I killed you. Where the dagger came from isn't the issue here.”
Kimiyo tilted her head.
“I don't know anything about fate or your painful memories, but I think we should just forget about all of this. So you killed me in a previous life. So what? I don't hold a grudge. Maybe the curse is already broken? You can't know if you'll reincarnate until you die.”
“That's what you always say. Every time, 'maybe everything's already over', 'maybe we managed to break the curse'. And now, you have forgotten everything. Even me. But what should I do now? I'm alone. I'm all alone...”
“This is your last life. This is the last time you'll ever be you. For the rest of your life, you'll remember me, but in your next life you'll forget everything, so you should just live this life to the fullest.”
“It's so hard.”
“I know. But-”
“You don't know anything.”
Kito shook his head vehemently. He was completely rejecting her. Kito stared blankly at the floor.
Kimiyo had learned that it was hard to live, but at the same time, she knew she had to take the one life she'd been given seriously.
“You must be tired.”
“I've been tired for so long. I've been dreaming for what feels like an eternity, but now I'm finally awake. And I find that my hands are empty.”
Kito covered his face. He looked like his entire self was empty.
The door opened quietly and Kirisame walked in. He held a book in one hand. He looked a bit surprised at Kito's presence. However, as though he hadn't seen a thing, he put the book down on Kimiyo's table and turned to leave without a word. But Kito stopped him.
“Are you Kirisame?”
“That's right.”
Kito looked up at Kirisame for a time, as though there were something on his mind. A few seconds passed.
“I never should have been born into this world,” said Kito, “and yet I was. What should I do?”
“Saying 'I never should have been born' is a privilege only the born have. What should you do? Nothing special at all. Just live your life like anyone else.”
Kirisame spoke in a quiet tone that was very unusual for him. Kito nodded. Kirisame bowed politely and left the reading room.
“I should get home,” Kito said, standing up. “I'll be going now.”
“I think I might have said something really awful to you.”
“It's fine. Don't worry about it.”
Kito opened the door and left. Kimiyo couldn't make herself watch him leave.
Kimiyo looked at the book Kirisame had left her. It was an old Scottish story she had asked him to find. Kimiyo took the book and her lunch and left the room. Utamika was manning the front desk alone. She was so absorbed in reading an English book that she didn't notice Kimiyo come in. Kimiyo walked past the front desk and made for the entryway. The entryway was a spacious room with a high ceiling, and was also empty. Kimiyo sat on the sofa and opened her bento. A small chandelier hung shining above her. It looked as though it was shining for her and her alone. Kimiyo ate her rolled omelettes. She thought she should have used less sugar. It was a hollow meal. She felt a strong kinship with Kito. She also had nothing to do, no one next to her, and merely continued to exist. Kimiyo was suddenly afraid to die. She thought that the essence of death might have been loneliness. “I never should have been born into this world.” Kito's words echoed in her mind. But that was fine. There was a moon in heaven, and angels danced around it. She'd love it. But what if she were alone? That'd be fine. She'd always been like that. Her head hurt. She wondered if she'd still get headaches in heaven. Kimiyo gave a bitter smile.
“You're crying, Kimi.”
It was Kirisame. He stretched his long legs as he sat down next to Kimiyo. Kimiyo stared at Kirisame for a moment, lost in her feelings for him.
“I'm not crying.”
Kimiyo forced herself to shake her head.
“You're so proud.”
Kirisame gently placed Kimiyo's head to his chest.
Kimiyo rested her body against him. She felt at peace.
“You're teasing me.”
“Did you like the book?”
“I haven't read it yet, but I'm sure it's nice.”
“That's good.”
“Hey, I dropped my chopsticks.”
“You can pick them up later.”
“I don't want to die. I'm afraid to die. I'm so afraid. Am I crying? I must be terrified. Why am I the only one who has to die like this? I don't want to die. I don't want to be alone.”
“But you aren't alone now. I'm here with you.”
“I'm going to make you a bento, Kirisame. Will you eat it?”
“Of course.”
“We'll eat them together. We'll have lunch together.”
“Mm.”
“It's so frustrating that I can't make time stop. I wish we could just stay like this forever.”
“Time doesn't matter, anyway.”
Kirisame laughed.
The entryway was silent.
“I don't know what to think of Kito. When I said goodbye earlier, he looked so sad. He looked at me as though he'd just witnessed the end of the world. I wonder if there really is such a thing as reincarnation. He said he found me by following the dagger. But I'm not the only one who's near the dagger kept in this library. Miki and Utamika are here, too. So why does he assume I'm the one who reincarnated?”
“Maybe you've got the same face.”
“Does your face stay with you through your reincarnations?”
“Maybe. Or maybe he was telling the truth about seeing you at the moment he reincarnated. Either way, only he can know for sure.”
“He also told me what happened in 1971. I was killed in a seven-pointed star. A dagger wound up in my chest, even though it wasn't supposed to have been there.”
“About that...”
Kirisame pulled a piece of paper from his pants pocket. Kimiyo took it from him and unfolded it. It was a copy of a newspaper article. It was dated December 18th, 1971. The headline was blunt. “Bodies Found of Murdered Young Man and Woman”.
“At time of writing, the bodies have yet to be identified. The man's cause of death has been found to be dramatic blood loss due to a stab wound to the neck, while the woman's is cardiac arrest following a stab to the chest. The murder weapon, a Western-style dagger, was left at the scene, but no fingerprints were found.”
“That's not what Kito said. I was the only victim.”
“Yes, and yet according to this article, both of you were murdered.”
“And there's nothing written about the seven-pointed star.”
“That must be some sort of media embargo. Or maybe the star wasn't there to begin with. But the important question isn't whether the star was there or not. If the woman who was killed was you in a previous life, who was the other man who died with you?”
“It was Kito, right?”
“Did Kito die with you? If Kito died with you in his previous life, then who exactly is he now? He's obviously much older than you.”
“That's true – and the thing with the dagger is also a mystery. I wonder if one of them had it hidden on their person and they killed each other after they entered the star. The dagger couldn't have just flown up and killed them on its own.”
“We must have made a false assumption somewhere.”
Kimiyo tossed aside the copy of the newspaper and leaned closer to Kirisame. “Life's so short. Hey, tell me about the moon.”
“The moon?”
“Uh-huh.”
“What about?”
“Like gravity or something.”
“Well, we all live within the moon's gravitational pull.”
“What else?”
“All matter with any mass has gravity.”
“So, Kirisame and I are connected right now because of the pull of gravity.”
“No, that's just you.”
3
After the usual performance of Pavane for a Dead Princess, Kimiyo went back to the reading room to get her things. She left Kirisame in the entryway. Kimiyo wasn't sure how long they'd spent together. But she was sure it was a long time. It had been a long, pleasant moment that hadn't ever grown dull. Life was so short. So short... Kimiyo remembered the sparkling chandelier hanging in the entryway. She could always remember pleasant things.
She opened the noisy door as quietly as possible. The room was dark. Kimiyo picked up the bag she'd left on the table.
Suddenly, someone grabbed her arm from behind. Kimiyo tried to let out a startled scream, but the assailant immediately covered her mouth. She struggled to escape, but she was held firmly in place and could hardly resist, only using up her strength in vain. Her wrists hurt. Kimiyo frantically struggled and turned her neck behind her. It was Kito.
“Be quiet. Please be quiet.”
Kito was pleading with her. Kimiyo obeyed him, her body stiffening.
“I'm sorry. I have no choice.”
Kito held Kimiyo down and locked the door to the reading room with one outstretched hand. He dragged her away and stood in a position where they wouldn't be seen by anyone looking in through the glass window on the door. Kimiyo shivered. She stared at the pitch black curtains. She looked at the extinguished fluorescent lights. The sun had already set and the room was dark.
Someone was approaching the door. She could hear the sound of approaching footsteps. It must have been Kirisame, making his closing rounds before heading home. Kimiyo raised her voice to call out to him as best as she could. But her mouth was still covered, so she couldn't speak. She wanted to stomp on the floor, but Kito was stopping her from doing that, too. Kirisame seemed to be trying to open the door from the outside. But the rattling of the door stopped before long as he appeared to realize it was locked. Kimiyo shed a tear. Open the door. Open the door. Open the door. Open the door. Open the door...
Kirisame's footsteps moved away. Kimiyo had a feeling that if she lost Kirisame there, she would lose everything.
Kirisame was gone.
“Please don't cry.” She hadn't realized that Kito had placed the dagger in his hand against her neck. “I know this isn't the most clever way to go about things, but I hope you can forgive me. You won't raise your voice?”
Kimiyo nodded. Kito's hand left her mouth.
“What are you doing?”
“I've realized a terrible secret about this world. So I'm going to close it. I need to close the circle of reincarnation.”
“You're insane.”
Kito knit his eyebrows.
“It's the world that's insane.”
“How did you get that dagger? Only Kirisame and the others knew where it was.”
“There are six daggers in this world. Didn't I tell you that already? This is one of them. You see? Inside the engraving of the seven-pointed star, there's a roman numeral 'IV'. The one in the library should have a 'I' on it. In other words, the dagger you saw isn't the one I have now.”
“Did you have that with you this whole time?”
“Yes.”
“What are you going to do to me?”
“We need to return to the star. This time, everything will be brought to an end.”
“Everything's already ended!” Kimiyo screamed, denying everything. Her voice reverberated throughout the darkened room. Kito panicked and covered Kimiyo's mouth. The dagger's blade touched her neck, leaving a thin cut on her pale skin. A lukewarm liquid ran down her neck. The blood flowed over her collarbone and onto her chest. Kito took out a white handkerchief and wiped at the blood apologetically.
“Don't touch me.”
“I didn't meant to hurt you.”
“Don't touch me.”
“Why does this always happen? I don't understand...”
“This is completely your fault. You're so selfish.”
“You don't understand anything, do you?”
“What is there to understand?”
Kito didn't respond. He stood there in the darkness for a while, motionless as a doll.
Pavane for a Dead Princess had ended long ago. All that remained in the library was silence. Had Utamika left already? Kirisame may have left, too. Was there anyone else in the library? Kimiyo didn't know. All she knew for sure was that she and Kito would remain alone together for a while longer. Kimiyo patted at her neck. It was slick with blood. It wasn't too painful, but it did ache.
“Let's wait until nightfall.” Kito took a seat. “In a bit, this place will be as quiet as the end of the world. You can sit down, too.”
Kimiyo had been offered a seat, but she couldn't bring herself to sit down. However, Kito pulled the hem of her dress, and she wound up in a chair. He placed his dagger on the table. Unlike the chandelier, the gleam on its blade was dark and heavy. In the darkness, the dagger had the shape of a cross.
“Have you ever wanted to be reborn as someone else?”
Kito asked her that.
“No.”
“That's wise. But there are plenty of people in this world who'd love to be reincarnated. Many people who complain about the one life they're given. There's only one world, and we only get one life. That's what people are dissatisfied by. Maybe humans just aren't suited to living. We can't keep up with the pace of the world. Some of us would like to be born anew and live our lives all over again if we could. But no matter how much we wish for it, it will never come true, and we'll all die. That's the rule.”
“What rule? No matter how strict the rule is, there are loads of people who find enjoyment in their lives. If you just obsess over death and the end from the beginning, of course you'll get nothing out of it.”
“It's like you're arguing with yourself. You find yourself facing certain death. Do you find any enjoyment in that?”
Kimiyo stared at Kito. She shot a quick glance down at the dagger. If she went for it, she could reach it. She envisioned it in her mind, trying to figure out just how quickly she could snatch it from Kito. In her imagination, Kimiyo succeeded in grabbing the dagger and stabbing Kito with it. She did it over and over and over. Then she'd run and ask Kirisame for help, and Kirisame would look at her, all covered in blood, and say that she was beautiful.
“Well, let's get going.”
Kito took the dagger back and stood up. He peeked through the glass window into the hallway, then unlocked the door. He opened the door without hesitation, making a loud noise. Kimiyo was grabbed by the arm and taken from the room.
“Where are we going?”
“I need a place big enough to draw the seven-pointed star.”
“The library?”
Kito nodded and went on ahead of her. He walked down the hallway and into the room lined with bookshelves. The library was quiet. Even the sound of footsteps was gone, having been absorbed somewhere. When she looked up, she saw the endless rows of shelves. The library in the middle of the night was a vision of fantasy.
“The bookshelves will get in the way a bit, but it can't be helped. You don't want to sleep outside, right?”
“Not if I get a say in the matter.”
Kito gave a small nod and a troubled smile. He straightened his back, pulled a book off the shelf, and tossed it to the floor, then another, then another. The fallen books scattered on the floor, face up, face down, or lying open, spine up or spine down. The air was filling with dust.
“Don't ruin the books.”
“It's better than ruining ourselves.”
“Kirisame and Utamika worked really hard to arrange those books.”
“I'll apologize to them later. Will that be okay?”
Kimiyo decided not to push the matter. Kito was behaving so erratically that she was afraid to say anything. Kimiyo looked to the door, then the window. The windows were curtained, so escaping that way would be a challenge. If she wanted to escape, she'd need to go through a door. There was one door straight behind her and one to the side. There was quite a bit of distance between them.
“You're going to help me take these books out.”
“No I'm not.”
“We're going to draw a seven-pointed star with the books. Line them up on the floor to trace the shape of the star. This is for your sake, too.”
Kimiyo didn't respond. Kito gave up and began quietly scattering the books on his own. Going to the social sciences section, he tossed out the books in this order: politics, law, economics, finance, statistics, sociology, education, customs, ethnic studies, national defense, and military affairs. Then he moved to the natural sciences section and threw down astronomy, astrochemistry, earth sciences, geography, geology, biochemistry, general biology, botany, and zoology, again in that order. Books had piled up on the floor and around Kimiyo.
“Speaking of seven-pointed stars,” Kimiyo asked, “I wasn't the only one who died in 1971, was I?”
“Did you check?”
Kito stopped moving and turned back to her.
“Yes. I wasn't the only one who died. You did, too. Hey. Just who the hell are you? Even if we do reincarnate, it's even stranger if you died with me in 1971. There's the mystery of how the dagger got into the star, and calculating your age, it doesn't fit. You didn't die in 1971. The man who died with me in the star wasn't you.”
“What do you mean, calculating my age?”
“If we died together in 1971, then our ages must be the same after we're reborn. How old are you?”
“26.”
“I'm 18.”
“There's nothing strange about that.”
Kito said this without expression.
“You aren't really Kito, are you!?”
Kimiyo pressed him.
“I am Kito.”
“Who? Just who are you?”
They silently stared at each other for a while.
Kito slowly opened his hands.
“You tell me... just who the hell am I?”